Its just so hard sometimes!

I KNEW being a parent would be hard work, but I never thought I would have a chronic illness on top of it.
I usually dont talk about it too much since I came down with everything at the age of 18, but lately since I relapsed, it is getting harder to hide.
To start off I have what is called dysautonomia. Many ask what the hell is that, but simply put my autonomic nervous system is very badly messed up. That is the system that controls your heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, digestion, and pretty much anything else that your body automatically does for you. My subgroup of that is called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Sydnrome and I also have orthostatic intolerance. WOW huge name that absolutely no one has a clue about.
Basically everytime I am not lying on a flat surface, my heart rate can go up to 200 beats per minute and my blood pressure can drop as low as 50/20. To say at the least, living life is very hard for me. Gravity just SUCKS.
I am on TONS of medications, but there is no cure. I have 6 specialists now who NEVER work together, so my life is one, big doctor's appointment.
Also to makes matters even better, I found out I probably have what is called Mast Cell Activation Disorder. Basically, my Mast Cells are messed up. (awesome) At this point, nothing really phases me. I was told I had Pulmonary hypertension (life span is as little as 3 years) but i just really didnt care.
I did pretty well before my pregnancy, but after I went into my huge relapse. I can no longer drive, go shopping, walk more than a couple feet, or basically anything anymore.
THIS is why I dont go out. I know a lot of my friends think I ditch them or dont care, but that is far from the truth. I would LOVE to go to a movie. or grab lunch, but right now its just not possible.
I hope in the near future with some new meds ( oh did i mention I also have ME/CFS, which is chronic fatigue sydnrome?.. awesome...) that I will one day be a functioning human being. But until that happens, I am stuck in front of the tv praying that I have the tiniest amount of energy to take care of Sydney.