It is so unbelievably frustrating dealing with The Social Security System trying to get on disability. Even with a lawyer, its a constant fight. I am tired of going to doctors appointments every week and filling out paper after paper. My life is one BIG disability mess. I hope in the end it all pays off...
literally.
My symptoms haven't been super fun this month. I seem to accumulated a couple more which really puts a damper doing anything. Half of the time they get so bad I know that I should make an ER trip, but I always just pray and try to ride them out. But I get sick of trying to just survive everyday. This illness has taken over my entire life now and I really dont know if I will ever get back to a normal me.
Its hard to hear people complain about how the have the flu or how bad their day was because they were late to work or trivial things in that nature when I would give ANYTHING at this point to have those minor problems. It is so true in the saying that you really dont know what you have until you loose it. I wish I would have appreciated my health more when I had it. I feel like I am in a kind of mourning with loosing it, much like if you were to loose someone. Its a weird feeling.
Well enough of the pity party! Lets see... Sydney is now 18 months and full of energy! No joke, as soon as she wakes up its go, go, go. She is also very stubborn and does not take no for an answer. I just cant believe how much she is talking and acting so much more like "real" human, instead of a baby. It makes me sad because I know that sooner than later she wont be my baby anymore. As hard as it is being a mommy when you are sick, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know if it was not for her, I would not be able to get out of bed everyday, but she pushes me.
As much as I miss her being a baby, I am DEFINITELY not ready for another one just yet! God bless all those with two kids, because i know its hard work. Maybe in a couple years Lol
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